May 18, 2012 · 1 minute

Given the excitement over that thing Facebook is doing today, it's easy to lose sight of just who its 28-year-old founder really is (apart from the 29th richest person on Earth, and, for that matter, probably any other planet). Just as well, then, that you have The Media.

As we've found through minutes of intensive research (that's years in old-media speak), Mark Zuckerberg, computer programmer and son of a dentist, is a man of multitudes, comprehensible only by hyperbolic metaphor. Allow us to help you out. Here we present helpful explanations of Zuckerberg's character, from today and the days leading up to the IPO. Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Zuckerberg is...

Tune in tomorrow for the two-pronged comparison of Zuckerberg to Jesus and Bob Dylan's first guitar pick.

Update: Zuck has some competition. One of the anchors on Bloomberg TV just said Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg was "treated like Mick Jagger at Davos."