Feb 21, 2015 · 1 minute

Long time Pando readers will remember the Healbe "GoBe," a miracle calorie counting watch that was in no way miraculous, not least because there was almost zero chance it was able to actually count calories.

And yet, as James Robinson reported here on Pando, the Russian entrepreneurs behind the GoBe were able to raise over a million dollars in crowdfunding thanks to Indiegogo turning a blind eye to dozens of red flags around the device. As one doctor put it to Robinson: GoBe is "some straight Ghostbusters, Peter Venkman bullshit."

Throughout the whole sorry saga, GoBe insisted that one day -- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon -- they would actually allow a journalist to spend some serious time with the GoBe to prove that it really is capable of measuring calories through your wrist.

Ladies and gentlemen: That day is today!

With the device allegedly finally about to ship (the original ship date was supposed to be July 2014), Healbe allowed reporters at Engadget to spend a whole month with the GoBe. As the site's James Trew put it:

PandoDaily, in particular, took Healbe to task on the validity of its claims (repeatedly), which you can read for yourself in full here. But, there's a difference between four-minute mile "impossible" and faster-than-the-speed-of-light "impossible." It's our job to give the product a crack at proving people wrong.
And what did Trew discover after weeks with the device?

You'll never believe it.

No go on, just guess.

That's right!

It. Doesn't. Fucking. Work.

I sorely wanted GoBe to work. I wanted it to blow my socks off, and allow Healbe to silence its critics, dismissing them as overcautious naysayers. For it to be a Roger Bannister among products. Sadly, when it comes to counting calories, I have no reason to believe that's the case.
How much doesn't it work? On one day, the calorie counter misguessed the number of calories Trew consumed by a stunning 1200 calories. Twelve hundred, over just two meals.

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 9.18.22 PM

And the litany of complains about the device -- "poor battery life... limited software options... bulky design..." - goes on and on.

Read the full review for the whole ugly picture. Don't say we didn't warn you.