May 20, 2015 · 2 minutes

So the trailer for a new Zac Efron vehicle called "We Are Your Friends" was released today, and besides being filled with a bunch of actors I've never seen before (except that one guy who looked familiar, you know the one who was either in N*Sync or was the popular asshole kid in 10 Things I Hate About You), the only thing that I can garner from the film's message is that the Bay Area tech industry is SCREWED...that is, in terms of its appeal to emotionally transient hipster/surfer (supster?) millennials wanting to do the whole tech startup thing.

Just taking in the trailer, it seems pretty clear that Hollywood has decided that Silicon Valley is passe, and that the LA/Vegas DJ circuit is the next Facebook.


All the signs are there.

You have Efron's DJ character, I think if I remember correctly his name is Cole Carter, who doesn't "want your life," as the great Johnny Mockson said in Varsity Blues back in the day. It's pretty clear that even if Efron's character did go to Harvard, he wouldn't have stayed there long. As the trailer points out, along with bailouts, SATs, and college loans, "Liberal Arts" are "NOT OUR FUTURE!"

And while Efron's generation is different ("you can invent an app, start a blog, sell things online," he says) It seems that the call of Silicon Valley is too mainstream for these guys. Even if, as another character points out, "I just read about this guy who invented Instagram, he sold it for $400 million...and he was just 26 years old."

Nah, says Efron's DJ Cole, not for me, I'm going to chase my dreams. Read: Not work in tech, uh oh.

The trailer is almost a mini version of The Social Network — just replace the model-esque actors who are supposed to be Harvard nerds with model-esque actors who are supposed to represent model-esque Los Angeles DJs. Bros drinking beers during the day: check. Suddenly successful bros jumping into pools in various states of undress: check. Bros standing on roofs: check. Important discussions among bros at loud clubs: check. Outrageously hyper-sexual women hitting on bros who are not in their league: check (but, to be fair, it is somewhat more believable that some much older, minimally-dressed woman would make a move on Efron, even if he seems to be the DJ at a California bat mitzvah, than any absurdly beautiful woman getting up in Zuck's piece.)

There's even a Sean Parker mentor figure with a constant two-day beard and a wide color array of collared shirts. (Oh wait, I recognize that actor too! It's the weird kid from American Beauty!)

But the bottom line, at least from the three minute trailer, is pretty clear: Silicon Valley is not cool anymore; but do you now what is cool, The San Fernando Valley. And that the DJ track is the new iOS app.

As Efron's Cole Carter says, "All you need is one track, that track is your ticket to everything."