May 4, 2016 ยท 1 minute

Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina have suspended their short-lived campaign for president.

The announcement to supporters last night once again proved the truism: If Carly Fiorina stands in front of a roomful of people, most of them are going to leave that room without jobs.

It’s hard to find a silver lining in this latest development. Yes, a bigoted, dishonest, smug, wildly unpopular greaseball is no longer in the running for the White House. But his departure, followed quickly by that of John Kasich,  leaves the Republican nomination entirely clear for Donald Trump.

In fact, after hours of contemplation I’ve managed to come up with precisely one reason why we should be moderately glad that Cruz is no longer running. And, honestly, it’s a crappy one.

Cruz’s departure leaves no candidate in the race who formally opposes net neutrality.

See, I told you it was crappy.

As I wrote a few months back, Cruz (along with Marco Rubio) was firmly opposed to net neutrality, a position which had attracted support and donations from SIlicon Valley ultra-libertarians like Scott Banister. It was Banister who infamously tweeted that Cruz was “one of us,” referring to all those people in SIlicon Valley who share Cruz’s opposition to women’s reproductive choice, LGBT rights, universal health care, immigration, the minimum wage and gun control. (It’ll blow your mind to learn that Banister is a proud Uber investor.)

With Cruz and Kasich gone, the only remaining candidates are Clinton, Sanders and Trump. The two Democrats have both published statements affirming their support of net neutrality.

As for Trump… the Republican front runner has made precisely one remark on the subject, on Twitter in 2014. Unfortunately the wording of that tweet -- comparing net neutrality to the fairness doctrine -- showed that he didn’t actually understand the meaning of the phrase, confusing it with some kind of law to ensure that things written online must be neutral. When it comes to actual net neutrality, he has made no formal statement since announcing his presidential run.

The end of the world is nigh but at least, as of right now, ISPs won’t be able to charge us more to watch the livestream.

“Huzzah.”